“Listless” (Monday April 28th, 2008 @ 9:37 A.M) “Listless”: lifeless My Meaning: “Listless”: “Feeling as though you have no life left, feeling as if you are of no importance, feeling as if you are nothing to the one who means more than something to you….listless”. Damn....that’s all I can think…it’s the only thing that comes to my brain as I look out the window to witness the actions of the rain. My “ears” are hearing that I should [media] him & let him be because obviously he wants to be [media] . But I can’t listen...some type of [media] is blocking these words as my “heart” tells me its something we can [media] but the pace of my “heart” is now at that of a [media] drum. This beating then [media] the nerves in my “body” which contain anger & [media] that makes my “body” shake and shiver. As I [media] in place as if my “body” is cold I want to curl up in a ball and [media] from all the pain but instead I get [media] & clutch my fingers into a [media] with a constricted grip & when she walked by me in school….my hand almost slipped…I wake up…damn...is it [media] it? Maybe….I just know that my “body” [media] old of being treated as [media] because I am [media] …is it to hard to ask to be treated with [media] as if I were a “human being”? I know “humans” make [media] because I have done such, and because I treat you as if you were a “human” is the reason I want all this past us. “Life”…can it be taken away from you even though you still maybe alive? Why do we lust for [media] when all it will do while we are alive is drive us [media] (more some than others) to a point where the same life we desired is [media] away by [media] caused from feeling of depression, abandonment, sadness, and [media] . Today as I looked at the pictures in my locker the thought of an ending was unimaginable…I then… [media] a cry that no one could hear, [media] a way that no one could feel, then I…stood in the [media] …thinking that it could take me away along with all my pain…I don’t want to be without him but as I thought to myself what no one else could think…I then realized…I…am [media] . As for my “heart”…it went to reside in a place that no one can find…not even I. It has left my body…I feel [media] …until it can be returned I feel… [media] … Taylah Devonne Bland Copyright © 2008

“The Feelings of A Transitional Period” (But NOTHING has changed) Too much compressed in my heart in which I can’t contain, it’s getting to my brain…I CAN’T MAINTAIN!!! Am I head over heels or are my heels over my head…leaving me turned upside down & confused? Is it just a serious crush or do I really love this dude? Call me a fool but I’m still thinking about him non-stop in school…so hard that I start to drool? Nah because if that gets on my clothes trust it won’t be cool. What’s my issue? As much as they say & as much as I try I just can’t just dismiss you…wow… like Trey Songs “I can’t stop missin’ you”… & with the thought of that…I’ma need a box of tissues. If I can’t talk and I have to call you back…I ain’t being rude, I just maybe talking to other “friends” on the phone…and yes they might be dudes. Just know that the shoes you took off it’s like no other can fill, your just oh so real…my stomach is uneasy…I’m feeling ill…thinking of someone else in your place my heart aches and now has a speeding pace. The man who can will stand tall & hold my hand, in the other holds the life long plan but, that will take a while. Trust they will have problems trying to beat or upgrade what I’ve come to know…I’m talking about your style…dang…in the mix of my words did I just smile? I hope to stay cheezing showing my pearly whites so I the tears from my eyes…no one will have to wipe. Like a kite I stay soaring strong & bold, I breathe to release the pressure inside that my body seems to hold. So I’m set on a journey yet to unfold…on a path of a new chapter…a new story untold… Taylah Devonne Bland Copyright © 2008 Taylah Devonne Bland

Where Do I Go From Here? When love does you wrong the tears from your heart have slowly dripped like a leaking faucet that hasn't been fixed. Hearts have no eyes so in a sense...love is blind. The thought of change brings heartache, sorrow & pain...its almost like a crash course down the steep concrete hill of memory lane. Driving you insane? Or do you just try to maintain the wrong that was done to you...did he commit a sin and a shame? Why do they say break up to get back up? Don't believe that hype that they done came up with. I have seen that side of people they change & put on make up & they try to stay true but end up putting on a show...running round like actors acting all faked up. I say things sometimes are "too true to be good"...they say "too good to be true". Will I ever rise from beneath the weight of my shoulders? Can I stop the blues...or the pain dripping from my heart and eyes as I see my world getting colder? Where do I go from here? Even though mine has...will your heart shed a tear? Will the hearts of my readers shed as they read about the pain I have neared? Can yaw feel how I have felt? Do I stay mad and forget about him...or...should I just run away...and disappear? In time they say you have to forgive those who have mistaken you, use lies to build you up inside but those lies have now broken you...But its hard to forgive individuals who have no idea that they what they've done has taken everything away from you. I have forgiven but I'm still broken down. Some how I have managed to stand tall and wear my crown as a strong, powerful, intelligent, young woman. Built from the hurt I refuse to stay mad and regret the time passed...I will rise from the dirt I have fallen beneath & grow into the prettiest flower this world has ever seen. Taylah Devonne Bland Copyright © 2008 Taylah Devonne Bland

"What I Love" I love the way that you kiss I love the fact they they're not ruff, I love the way you bit your lips Like cotton balls they're soft to the touch, I love how I know your looking at me When you know I'm not looking at you, I love how you try not to realize it Even though I know you do, I love it when I rub your neck And can make you comfortable to think deeply, I love the way we cuddle And I love how you snore when you get sleepy, I love the way you make the jealous With dressing in your paper chaser style, I love how we both are shy And I love how that just makes me smile, I love all that you are made of Your nose (fa real), lips, hair, and feet, I can never stop loving you... ...Your what make my heartbeat, If the love between us stops... My status will change from living to deceased, Your love is embedded in me Like a sneaker with a deep crease, I hate that I love you I love how we hate haturz, They try with every word to divide us I love how they don't know by Diong that they make us greater, I love you because of your heart I love that I don't regret all our spent time, I love how you've let me into your heart That's why I gave you the key to mine... Taylah Devonne Bland Copyright © 2008 Taylah Devonne Bland

“It’s Unbelievable” Its unbelievable, can u believe I found the realest? I can’t…never thought I would. Never thought that I’d end up writing poems again after the last but he put me back at the desk with the pen and the paper…I’m in my spotlight. It feels good to be able to express my feelings for another that I think (scratch that) know I can end up spending the rest of my life with. I wanna marry him and…I know I’ve said this in the past but…I dreamt about this one more than once. We talked about life after high school. The both of us hopefully going to college, finding careers, owning a home, getting married, having kids and being parents. I can see us at an old age in retirement, being grandparents with grandchildren…all that good stuff. I know of his fam and he knows of mine. He loves me for who I am not what people try to make or say of me, or what others want me to become. Antwan...Yeah I love him. The reason why? LoL...Its because he’s that one in a million, once in a life time, one of a kind…wow…It’s Unbelievable. Taylah Devonne Bland Copyright © 2008 Taylah Devonne Bland