Songs I've written or Co-written,
My name is Jody Dickey, I am a published poetess, songwriter a retired promoter and dj
Song Info
Genre
Charts
#114 in subgenre
Peak #1
Charts
Peak #6
Author
Jody Dickey/James Odle Jr, Wayne Benson Sr
Rights
Jody Dickey/James Odle Jr/Wayne Benson Sr
Uploaded
August 27, 2010
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.5 MB • 128 kbps • 4:53
Story behind the song
western adult comedy theme
Lyrics
Texas Tornado Meets Big Jake
©2010 Jody Dickey/James Odle,Jr
This was the town of cattle baron Big Jake.
Meaner’n a two headed rattler; tougher’n a 4 bit ’steak.
With one good eye and a pistol in each hand,
he was a shoot ya down, put ya in the ground cattleman.
He always rode a big white hoss
and seen his job through, no matter the cost.
One day a young cowhand came running down the street
yelling that there was some rustling going on down by the creek.
“Don’t cha- worry†drawled cattle baron Big Jake
and sent the cow poke into the saloon to wait.
Big Jake couldn’t help but notice as he saddled up his mare,
how the women folk in town pointed and stared.
Seems Big Jake had on his tightest jeans
and they looked about ready to bust at the seams.
So he bid the good folk to have no fear,
for that very day he was switching to drinking only light beer.
Then with help from a stool and a ladder he mounted up
and in a flurry of dust he yelled, “Wish me luck!â€
After a hard 5 minute ride, during which he only fell off twice,
he came upon a scene he’d never seen before in his life.
There in the creek was six ladies neked as they could be
and none of ‘em covering up or caring what he might see.
Why that old Jake, he just sat and took it all in for a while
before flashing them girls his purtiest, pearly white smile.
Thinking this might be his most luckiest day,
he got down off his horse and strolled over their way.
It was just about then a handsome stranger rode in.
He was topless and bottomless; wearing only a hat and a grin.
Well Jake was annoyed, figuring this might only get worse.
Besides, by his reckoning, he was there first!
Well, those ladies ignored Jake, pretty as you please,
running right past him, with his pants down to his knees.
He yelled at the stranger, “Who are you? I demand to know!â€
One of the ladies said, “Why Jake honey, that’s Texas Tornado.â€
Big Jake said, “Hey, I’ve heard of you, and, is what they say really true?â€
Tornado removed his hat from his lap to give Big Jake a good view.
One of the ladies fainted while the other five clapped,
but Big Jake just groaned and said, “put it back!â€
Then Big Jake said, “Tornado, I own this here town,
we got laws, and you’ve got to holster that thing down.â€
Tornado just grinned and looked that cattleman in the eye
and said, “Hell fire Big Jake, I ain’t never been one to be shy.
But if that’s what makes you happy
I’ll oblige, even though it sounds pretty crappy.â€
Tornado tipped his hat to the women folk,
letting them know later, he owed them a poke.
Then as Big Jake pulled up his pants, while turning his back,
Tornado dismounted and launched his attack.
He lassoed and hog tied that crusty old cattleman,
then winking at the ladies, he laid out his plan.
Tornado asked them ladies to sneak into town that night
and bring him lots of paint that was red and bright!
Then he asked them ladies to strip Jake and paint
all three inches of what the Baron fondly called, Little Jake.
Then after Tornado rounded up some stray cows from the trail,
he painted their back sides red while lifting their tails.
Then at high noon the very next day,
cause all wild west showdowns happen that way,
that herd of red assed cows trotted right through down town
followed by the Baron with Little Jake all red and unbound.
Well, all the good towns people pitched a regular laughing fit,
I mean, it was the 1800’s and this was as funny as it gets.
From then on ever time Big Jake mentioned cows or riding herd
every one busted out laughing before he said another word!
Tornado not being one to wear out a welcome or over stay,
pointed and said, “there’s more women needing me, out yonder way.â€
6
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This is excellent... Texas Tornado dah Winner... great humor here... had to lol... looking forward to more !!!