"Mr. Cork's" songs are now available for individual purchase by digital download by clicking on the "Mr. Cork" website icon on this page...Mr. Cork is also available at Napster..Musicmatch or your favorite site...just type in mr cork in the sites search engine..Thanks for your support -Mr. Cork WELCOME TO MR. CORK'S TOTALLY OFF THE WALL WHACKED OUT CHRISTMAS SONGS! EVERY SONG WAS TESTED BY LETTING MY WIFE LISTEN TO EACH AND EVERY SONG. IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT...I ENDED UP SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR A WEEK AND IT ENDED UP ON THE CD. I GOT NAILED ONCE AND THAT'S NOT BAD WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE ALBUM HAS 10..COUNT THEM...10..FUNNY SONGS! ANYWAYS...I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT THEM A FEW TIMES AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF LETTING MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER LISTEN TO THEM LATE ONE NIGHT...SHE HAD HEADPHONES ON AND ALL YOU COULD HEAR WERE BURSTS OF UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER. MY WIFE WOKE UP AND I HIGHTAILED IT OUT THE FRONT DOOR. I SOON REALIZED I ONLY HAD A BATHROBE ON AS I HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE SHOWER. I HAD NO KEYS WITH ME AND OF COURSE THE DOOR LOCKED RIGHT BEHIND ME. I SNUCK OVER TO MY DAUGHTERS WINDOW AND LIGHTLY TAPPED BUT SHE HAD THE HEADPHONES ON AND COULDN'T HEAR ME. IT WAS FREEZING OUTSIDE AND MY BARE FEET WERE STICKING TO THE FROZEN GROUND. I WAS TRYING TO GET MY DAUGHTERS ATTENTION FOR 10 MINUTES WHEN I WAS APPROACHED BY TWO ARMED POLICE. THEY THOUGHT I WAS A FLASHER AND I FINALLY CONVINCED THEM OF WHAT HAPPENED. I RANG THE DOORBELL PRAYING MY DAUGHTER WOULD ANSWER. THE DOOR OPENED AND IT WAS MY WIFE...SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS BUT THE BATHROBE BELONGED TO HER AND SHE WAS WONDERING WHERE IT WAS....THE POLICE LAUGHED AND TOLD ME TO TAKE IT OFF AND GIVE IT BACK...AFTER THEY ALL HAD A LAUGH AT MY EXPENSE I FOUND OUT ONE OF THE NEIGHBORS REPORTED SEEING A PEEPING TOM..."GEE",I SAID,"THIS NEIGHBORHOODS CHANGING,WE BETTER KEEP OUR SHADES SHUT THEN" I TOLD THE POLICE...THEY WENT AWAY HOWLING..WHERE WAS I...OH YEAH..ANYWAYS,MY DAUGHTER LOVED IT AND SO DID HER FRIENDS...YOU SEE HOW I EXTENSIVLEY TESTED THIS THING BEFORE I PUT IT ON THE MARKET? IT'S EVEN ANIMAL TESTED!! MY SIBERIAN HUSKEY WHO IS A BEAUTIFUL DOG BUT DUMBER THAN A ROCK ACTUALLY WENT UP TO THE STEREO SPEAKER AND COCKED HER HEAD WONDERING HOW I GOT IN THERE. I SMILED UNTILL I LEARNED HER CHEW BONE WAS BEHIND THE SPEAKER AND SHE KNOCKED IT OVER TO GET IT. I SHOULD OF KNOWN...SHE NEVER COMES WHEN I CALL HER ANYWAYS...NEITHER DOSE MY WIFE BUT I WON'T GO THERE..WHERE WAS I?...OH YEAH...LISTEN TO THE SONGS AND BUY A COPY OR TWO FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. YOU CAN PURCHASE THIS C.D. AT WWW.CDBABY.COM/MRCORK2 WHEN YOU GET OVER TO THAT SITE READ THE TRUE HILARIOUS CHRISTMAS DISASTER THAT HAPPENED TO ME ON CHRISTMAS DAY 2003.. THANKS...MR. CORK