Sung by Rachel Stone & Shawn Norton.
Piano: Kim Rich
A Fun Musical Revue
All songs written by Rachel Stone (Words & Music)
Story behind the song
I was allergic to everything.
Lyrics
Allergy Lament
Words & Music by Rachel Stone 11/21/98
© 1998, Rachel Stone
I can't eat anything
Well, hardly anything
For nearly everything
Makes me sick
I've got allergies
That means I can't eat
Milk, eggs, nuts, corn or wheat
And that makes dining less a treat
My toast is made from millet
Spread with Soya-Kaas™ (for cream cheese)
Peanut butter left me
Soy nuts in its place (Skippy™, how I miss you)
My breads are gluten-free
My soaps are fragrance-free
My sheets are resin-free
And pure organic cotton
My cereal lacks BHT
My soups – no MSG
My makeup – allergenic free
There's one thing that I've started
Wondering about
Why it costs twice as much
Because of what's left out
(Something's really wrong here)
If I try to breathe
The pollen makes me sneeze
And what good is a fresh breeze
With dust, molds, and pollution
The rugs and stuff inside
All out-gas formaldehyde
There is no safe place I can hide
My home and car have HEPA filters
To clean the air
But microwaves and radiation’s
Everywhere
(So I wear a magnetic shielding pendant).
I dream some future day
My allergies just go away
That would be a lovely day
Oh, just imagine
I'd visit friends with pets
And eat in restaurants
Share pizza! - just like all the rest
I'd feel let out of prison
Free to go and do
I'd travel round the world
And never carry food! (say good-bye to schlepping!)
I would like to wake
And find it's a mistake
No need to live on brown rice cakes
(Even if they're Lundberg™)
Oh, won’t someone please
Remove my allergies
Remove my allergies
Just remove them, please!
