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Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand
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Every year, it seems there are more stories about people fighting while shopping for holiday gifts. This could also be called 'Maul Shopping' or, 'A Christmas Stocking Stuffed With Sharp Rocks'.
music comedy humor parody political humor musical comedy celebrity stand up comedy song parody funny song
Artist picture
I do stand-up comedy, as well as parody. I often imitate the recording artists when I parody their music.
My name is Rick Cormier. I am a singer/songwriter/musician/comedian. I love music and its' power to move people. I enjoy making people laugh.
Song Info
Genre
Podcasts • Parody
Charts
Peak #24
Peak in subgenre #4
Author
Rick Cormier
Uploaded
December 03, 2006
Track Files
MP3
MP3 2.6 MB • 128 kbps • 2:48
Lyrics
Christmas time, shoppers tussle And, since I’m short on muscle Screw being polite, they’re in for a fight I’m Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand Raucous boys and curmudgeons Make no noise, once they’re bludgeoned A club is divine for shortening lines Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand In the parking lot, I spied a great space Wimp in a new Beamer beat me there How I laughed, to see the look on his face The moment I set fire to his hair Tazer guns can be useful On someone who’s more youthful It’s jolly good fun, folks drool when they’re stunned Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand (flashback to years ago, when I was being desensitized to violence) At the toy store there was just one X-Box Some old lady snatched it from the shelf I smacked her with a stocking stuffed with sharp rocks And, as she dropped, I copped it for myself Shopping’s through, stole a fly-rod Maimed a few for an iPod They got in my way, so I made ‘em pay Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand Shopping in a way they understand Shopping… With a Weapon… in My Hand Happy Holidays! See you at the mall!
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Comments 4
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Carlo D'Anna
Dec 03, 2016
Hardy Har!! This tune is perfect!
Michael Bennett
Nov 27, 2009
This needs to be on YouTube, Rick! ;) Got any video of today's (black friday) shoppers waiting in lines since 3am?
Rick Cormier
Oct 17, 2009
Hi Ken, thanks for the comment. Actually, I did send it in to Red Peters about a month ago, for his upcoming Christmas show. I haven't heard back from him yet though so, I don't know whether or not he'll use it. Rick
Ken Sacco
Nov 20, 2007
LOL--great song--you should submit it to the red peters comedy music hour on sirius radio.