Solo songwriter/guitarist.
Lyrics
THE TERMITE SONG (DRAFT)
--J. Wrabek
[THE RAP: I owe this one to the United Nations. A group of their scientists released a report recently saying that the biggest cause of global warming is--you guessed it--termite farts. And yes, there was a song in it…]
1.
When the wind blows through your walls and doors
And your furniture ain’t there no more
And the bathroom up on the second floor
Is in the basement now,
You ain’t been cursed, and you ain’t sinned,
You’ve just got termites movin’ in--
They’re taking over the world again
And they’ve started with your house.
CHORUS:
They’ll eat you out of house and home
Like ev’ry teenage kid you’ve known,
Ruin your life like a good ex-wife,
Instinct tells ‘em how;
And ev’ry time a termite farts, y’know,
It makes the hole in the ozone grow;
Earth’s gonna go down the toilet bowl
If we don’t stop ‘em now.
2.
Thirteen hundred years ago
We lived in castles made of stone,
All dressed up in metal suits
That termits couldn’t chew;
Well, times have changed, and it ain’t been good,
Ev’rything we’ve got’s made out of wood;
And when termites move in your neighborhood
They can do a job on you.
CHORUS:
They’ll eat you out of house and home
Like ev’ry teenage kid you’ve known,
Ruin your life like a good ex-wife,
Instinct tells ‘em how;
And ev’ry time a termite farts, y’know,
It makes the hole in the ozone grow;
Earth’s gonna go down the toilet bowl
If we don’t stop ‘em now.
3.
Well, bug spray won’t make termites die,
That’s why we’ve called in a nuclear strike;
We appreciate your sacrifice-
It’s the least that you could do;
We’ll put flowers by the crater’s edge
(As soon as the radiation ebbs)
And signs that say this planet’s saved
By the likes of me and you.
CHORUS:
They’ll eat you out of house and home
Like ev’ry teenage kid you’ve known,
Ruin your life like a good ex-wife,
Instinct tells ‘em how;
And ev’ry time a termite farts, y’know,
It makes the hole in the ozone grow;
Earth’s gonna go down the toilet bowl
If we don’t stop ‘em now.
REPEAT LAST COUPLE OF LINES TO END
© 2006 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No termites were harmed in the writing of this song (even though they probably deserved it).
