Lyrics
Intro: (Barney Theme): Who Stole the Cookies from the cookie jar? Was it you? Who? Mike Jones!
Chorus: Im the fattest motha fucka on the planet,
All this healthy food, surely I can’t stand it,
The only question is who had a hand in it,
The cookie jar mofo, who planned it? (Mike Jones)
Verse 2: late one evening, 9/13/96, I heard a big tahoe speed on my street quick, blaring annoying music, the tahoe awoke my ass, I look out my window and peered outside fast, two men in gangsta clothes and one in a santa suit, strapped with uzi’s, they were prepared to shoot, santa broke into my crib through the back door, the two thugs opened fire, and I dropped to the floor, I lay helpless avoiding countless shells, santa raiding my cookie jar, humming “jingle bells”, as that bitch turned, I hit him with a 2x4, I cant believe this bitch trying to even the score, he was barely conscience, so I ripped off his beard, extremely chubby and black, looking kinda weird, I asked of his identity, he didn’t know, smacked him in the face, it was then he shouted, Mike Jones!
Verse 3: aight now the fat ass is laying unconscience, trying to steal my cookies, he was acting all pompus, so I laid that bitch out, like girls in a tanning bed, but his boyz outside really wanted me dead, they shot about a 100 rounds before they stopped, they sped off in the tahoe thinking I got shot, but then I got out my go go gadget skates, I caught up to them as they tried fleeing the state, at a stop light, I pulled near their black tahoe, pulling out my gat and filling dem niggaz wit holes, the guy on the driver side, built like truck, bullet grazed his head, but dat wasn’t enough, nigga to the right chuckin up gang signs, dat nigga wasn’t lucky, he wasn’t fine, i hit with five shots, straight to the chest, almost passed out and and damn near lost his breath, I vanished into thin air, nowhere to be seen, the nigga drivin was fine, but his partner was bleeding heavily, I went back to my crib, and santa disappeared, he left me a note, saying that he would comeback here, just a matter of time before he strikes again, but when he comes, he’ll have to get one more friend, the nigga that straight took on five shots, apparently died later on, R.I.P. tupac…
