Recorded by The Collaborators, with Mississippi Spud (bass), Cliff Hitchcock (lead Strat), Vikki Flawith (piano, synth, animals). Joe does Strat plinks, vocals. Mixed by Miss Vikki.
Solo songwriter/guitarist.
Lyrics
THE CAT WITH THE STRAT
--J. Wrabek
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss the Cowboy Poet)
It was raining like heck, the temperature dropping,
And Mom hid her stash before she went shopping.
The radio? Bo-ring! The teevee was crap,
Too young to have sex, too old for a nap.
Good music could help chase them old blues away,
But there weren’t gonna be none this cold, cold wet day.
And then! He just showed up dripping wet!
That feline-with-Fender! The Cat with the Strat!
And he said: “Whafo’ you starin’ like that?
“It’s been rainin’ dogs, it’s nicer in here,
I’m ready to party–anyone got a beer?”
And the fish (did you think Mom would leave us alone?)
Yelled, “Don’t talk to strangers when your mother ain’t home!”
The Cat only grinned and said “Please do not waste
Time listening to him–fish ain’t got no taste.
“I play R&B, rock, reggae and rap;
I can even do country,” said the Cat with the Strat.
I can purr like a Buick, like Elvis I wail
And you should see the stuff I can do with my tail.
I can play really hot licks,” said the Cat.
“I know lots of songs,” said the Cat with the Strat.
“This here’s a new one, I know you’ll like this–
It’s called ‘What to Do When Annoyed by a Fish’!”
Like eagles would fly were they wingless and damp,
The fish soared through the air and into the lamp;
There was sparking and smoking, all the fuses blew out,
And the smell of fried fish permeated the house.
“Mmm, really tasty--I like ‘em like that;
A fish in a lamp,” said the Cat with the Strat.
He brought in his “roadies”--Amp One and Amp Two--
And yowled out instructions for things we could do;
“Find things that go clatter, and shatter, and splat--
I need some percussion,” said the Cat with the Strat.
So we battered around every pan we could take
(And especially fun were the things that could break).
It was up by the glassware we found Momma’s stash
And things got a little confused after that.
We played like the Stones, or maybe their brothers,
Minus Jagger, and Richards, and two or three others.
The rugs were in tatters, the furniture broke,
And every room filled up with foul-smelling smoke
When Mom got back home--and the Cat up and split,
Sayin’ he wasn’t cleaning up one one little bit.
To bed without supper weren’t really so bad,
We’d had plenty of munchies with the Cat with the Strat.
Insurance will fix things ‘cause Momma maintained
It was drug-crazed preteens driven nuts by the rain.
The Cat ain’t come back, and Mom don’t believe,
And if it weren’t for the claw marks, neither would we.
She’s convinced we’re the ones drinkin’ beer from a dish,
…And she still hasn’t noticed she’s missing her fish.
©2006 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No animals were harmed in the writing or recording of this song--they just sound like it, because they’re all good performers.
