Dear fellow Parents of America: It is of a deep sense of social and moral responsibility that I alert you to my discovery of a new effort by amoral, godless, non conforming ne'er-do-wells to seduce our children, and not a small number of adults, into a life of delusion, aural pleasure and worst of allhope for their own chance at a life of sin gone unpunished. Fortunately, I have acquired intelligence on these Pied Piperesque Musicianados, who even have the audacity to flaunt their rebellious posture against society in the choice of their moniker- the Bad Mouths. The one called Matt G., he's their lead vocalist. Not much is known beyond the fact that he is from "upstate". Well, some places I know that are up state are Dannamora and Sing-Sing. What does he hide by just using the G? Then there is Mike Trzesinski who plays the bass (guitar) and also provides vocalisms. We've had our eye on him since the beginning of his musical endeavors. He thinks he's escaped our notice since he's cleaned up his act and got a straight job. You're still on our radar my friend. One Joe DeMatteo has also been seen with this group playing the drums and vocalizing his outrage at everything. He is a cypher at the moment, but by the good lord's will, that will all change when we acquire some fingerprints off of a thrown drumstick or something. There is one last one and I think he may have some knowledge as to the whereabouts of the little boys lost on the cover of their CD (who I presume have already been corrupted and are beyond redemption!). This one is known as Bryan Grapes-obviously an alias. All I know is that his contempt for our institutions has piqued my ire, and yours I'm sure. He struts about the stage with his guitar like some dandy. His foppish presence is a thinly veiled disguise for the debaucherous libertine within. I propose we subject the Bad Mouths to a healthful course of soap in said orifice and remedy this potential threat to our well under way scheme of thought and value control. Sincerely, A Concerned Do-Gooder