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HC01 Hampton Court
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A humorous ditty based on a schoolboy pun on some rude rhyming slang - and the British love of euphemisms!
humor humour henry v i i i rhyming slang euphemisms
Artist picture
Singer-songwriter, arranger and producer: acoustic contemporary folk but ranging into rock/blues/country/jazz/humour...all very eclectic, I'm afraid!
Martin Stirrup Singer/songwriter An old folkie who got back into it... These days I sing and play guitar(s) and other stringed instruments, then score and orchestrate where appropriate. My taste becomes increasingly eclectic ranging from finger-picked folk through country to soft rock mixed in with a few more alternative and eccentric numbers, including the odd novelty foxtrot...
Song Info
Genre
Acoustic • Acoustic General
Charts
#18 today
#8 in subgenre
Author
Martin Stirrup
Rights
Martin Stirrup
Uploaded
October 26, 2025
Track Files
MP3
MP3 7.4 MB • 320 kbps • 3:15
Lossless
WAV 32.8 MB
Meta Data
BPM
110
Character
Energy
relaxed, cool
high-energy
Danceable
coffee-place
dancefloor
Positivity
dark, sad, angry
happy
Appeal
unique
radio-friendly
Story behind the song
A humorous ditty based on a schoolboy pun on some rude rhyming slang - and the British love of euphemisms!
Lyrics
Hampton Court Intro greensleeves 6/8 AmGAmE7 AmGAm E7Am Am (4/4) AmGFAm FCGE7 CGFE7E+ Am King Henry liked his jousting but of women he was fonder So when he'd finished rousting on a dalliance he'd wander He liked to skip and prance and exaggerate his forces How the size of his lance could frighten all the horses And if he met a woman with an amorous persuasion He wasn't backward coming forwards for an a clandestine liaison Yes Henry knew how to have fun when it came to sport A horizontal five mile run was how he would cavort He was in the throws of passion When her husband wandered past Caught almost in flagrante then you have to move it fast He liked to act the charmer but when things were getting fraught He was careless with the armor and he got his Hampton court! FCGAm FCGG67. Am I'm not being cruel but I think you'll find above all The British as a rule like to call a Spade a shovel Lawyers may concur whilst bishops talk of schisms But the British still prefer to talk in euphamisms talk in euphamisms It may be a fact or simply just a rumour but the British are relaxed about their lavatorial humour Sanitation engineers are just special kinds of plumbers Words we do not wish to hear and just talked about as numbers And one famed king of England leaves a legacy absurd Just remember where you tread with Richard the Third So I you take a leak or Jimmy you should keep it all in hand Be careful if you shimmy thats not hard to understand Point percy at the porcelain and take a careful aim Theres a certain satisfaction when it all goes down the drain You may be feeling chipper but still things can get quite fraught If you're careless with your zipper and you get your Hampton court  
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