I confess. I work for President Trump and I wrote the Op-Ed piece in The New York Times. It had to be done.
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Story behind the song
I confess. I work for President Trump and I wrote the Op-Ed piece in The New York Times. It had to be done.
Don't get me wrong, I am proud to serve this President,
for This President more than any I have known,
has perhaps the Greatest Potential.
And being on the inside as I am, I know this.
However, he needs to get rid of his current Chief Of Staff,
General John Kelly, because Kelly is sometimes a yes man, and sometimes simply uncooperative; I frankly suspect John simply hates Don and what can you do with that?
General John Kelly needs to be fired. Period. And I, Jesus Oldman, need to Immediately Be Made President Trump's Chief Of Staff.
Which, under the circumstances now, after me having to have written this Op-Ed piece----which honestly I did not think would get published, no one was more surprised than I---
well, it seems, let us say, not very likely.
It was not happening as it was though,
which is what moved me to write this piece.
I also want to apologize to Mike, for throwing in
a word he uses "lodestar", that was mischievous of me,
I got a brief and cheap giggle out of doing that. Sorry, Mike.
My bad, my friend.
I want to thank, all the people involved at The New York Times, who have been very considerate at protecting my identity,
to even the point where it could cause them problems,
But I Cannot Allow A Great American Insitution
Such as The New York Times, to come under fire for this.
For what? Protecting Me?
I am Sworn To Protect This Nation!
I am Sworn To Protect This President!
But, tell me,
what is the best way to do the second thing,
when his biggest enemy, is his own lack of maturity?
This is not easy. I have tried to talk to him about this,
again, and again, and again.
I did not want to write such a thing as this Op-Ed piece,
which, again, I really didn't think would be published.
But published it was,
and before anyone else gets in trouble for what I did,
I MUST STAND,
Yes, I wrote it.
Yes, I Am Spartacus.
Maybe this subject is going to prove too intellectual
for the hip hop crowd, we shall see...
I put it in this genre first...
after that, who knows...
This is, my musical account,
the 'soundtrack' if you will,
of the now Notorious Op-Ed Piece,
Published By The New York Times.
I had to do this, I had to write this,
and I guess, sensing the seriousness in its content,
The New York Times, despite my request for anonymity,
publish it anyway---a thing they would not usually do.
It was a longshot... a last ditch effort,
This President Is A Great Man,
if only he knew it!
The man suffers from a horrible, just horrible inferiority complex,
and as a result, he lashes out like an eight year old on steroids.
Don, I love you like a Brother, Truly, Sir, I do.
But if you will not let ME, Jesus Oldman,
Be YOUR Chief Of Staff,
I fear for the Nation, and
I fear for the Office of the President.
I believe, I Am The Man Strong Enough To Reel You In
Mr President.
Only I.
Get Rid of John Kelly, he is murdering your presidency.
I apologize, Mr President,
for having to go this route, just to grab you by the lapels,
AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE HEARING ME, SIR!
Thank you.
God Bless America.
Yours, Jesus Oldman
Lyrics
I AM SPARTACUS
I am Spartacus
I speak my op-ed mind
I got my job through The New York Times
Maybe I'll end up in the ground face down
But not before I make the 'heads up' sound
I serve the President, but all of you too
Even if it kills me, I got a job to do
Pip pap, this that, white boy, black cat
Hip hop, Hey Pop stand up in the back
Look at me! Look at them!
Killing me... Eminem...
What you see is what you get
Here's the basic facts
Put it in your pocket and walk away..
Don't say I didn't warn ya
'Cause I did anyway
I am Spartacus
I speak my op-ed mind
I got my job through The New York Times
Maybe I'll end up in the ground face down
But not before I make the 'heads up' sound
I serve the President, but all of you too
Even if it kills me, I got a job to do
Toot sweet, big feet
Lookie there! Whale meat!
When they get stranded
They make Fish Burgers
Black and kettle, middle metal
You can see me just a little
I"m on the middle lookin' out
But I see all of you!
The one who's born to be assassin
Will probably get me before too long
I am Spartacus
I speak my op-ed mind
I got my job through The New York Times
Maybe I'll end up in the ground face down
But not before I make the 'heads up' sound
I serve the President, but all of you too
Even if it kills me, I got a job to do
Mary Hartman! Mary Hartman!
What the phuck do we put this in?
There's Cynthia, There's Mario
There's New York and away we go!
I'm thinkin' 'bout a riddle
That'll pit a little rhyme
...Jiggle it a little
It'll open in time
And I can have tantrums just like you
But Baby, mine rhyme
I am Spartacus
I speak my op-ed mind
I got my job through The New York Times
Maybe I'll end up in the ground face down
But not before I make the 'heads up' sound
I serve the President, but all of you too
Even if it kills me, I got a job to do
I AM SPARTACUS
(God Bless America...
4 The People... ALL The People...
Remember me, America... Always...
It has been an honor serving you, Mr President...)
Copyright 2018 JESUS OLDMAN