The first time I traveled to Russia (St. Petersburg), I had a business visa that I needed to register at some office in the city. The office was open to the public only two separate two-hour intervals during the week. I went during the first of these open hours. The bureaucrat motioned for me to sit in a chair in the waiting area and proceeded to process some paperwork, going to his file cabinet multiple times. Then, after about 10 minutes, he motioned for me to sit in the chair next to his desk. He looked at my passport, visa, and form, then went through several maneuvers, including visits to his file cabinet. Eventually, he signed the form, gave it to me, and said that I needed to take it to the cashier upstairs, pay the fee, and bring the receipt and form back to him. So I went upstairs, only to find that the cashier had no open hours that day. So, I had to return the next day when the cashier was open, and then yet another day when the bureaucrat's office was open. Whew! The song arose from this incident. Of course, it is not just a satire of a Russian bureaucrat, but bureaucrats everywhere that lord over their tiny little kingdoms, setting up Catch-22 type situations than enhance their power.

Ya moguchij byurokrat! - I am a mighty bureaucrat! Bez menya bam nechego delat' - Without me you can do nothing Ya shtampuyu vashi dokumenty - I'll stamp your document A chtob umolit' menya ypadite na koleni - But in order to appease me fall down on your knees Mozhet byt' togda obdymayu vashi proc'by - Maybe then I'll consider your requests 1. Moj kabinet rabotaet kazhdyj chetverg i vtornik - My office words every Thursday and Tuesday S chacu do tryox, konechno krome prazdnikov sluzhebnyh - From 1:00 to 3:00, except of course for official holidays No vy by schastlivymi byli menya tam najti - But you would be lucky to find me there Potomu chto eto tozhe vremya vzyat' moj pereryv - Because it is also the time to take my break Ya moguchij byurokrat! - I am a mighty bureaucrat! Bez menya bam nechego delat' - Without me you can do nothing Ya shtampuyu vashi dokumenty - I'll stamp your document A chtob umolit' menya ypadite na koleni - But in order to appease me fall down on your knees I zovite menya <> - And call me "my esteemed sir" 2. Ya zhe budu delat' v svoyo vremya vashi bumagi - I will indeed process your papers in due course Za obychnuyu taksu stol'nika rublej novyh - For the usual fee of 100 new rubles [new = after the currency was devalued] No ya srazu oxotno podmahnu vse vashi formy - But I will gladly process your forms right away Kak tol'ko derevyannye privratyatcya zhe v zelyonnyh - Only if the wood [worthless] money is transformed into green [foreign currency] Ya moguchij byurokrat! - I am a mighty bureaucrat! Bez menya bam nechego delat' - Without me you can do nothing Ya shtampuyu vashi dokumenty - I'll stamp your document A chtob umolit' menya ypadite na koleni - But in order to appease me fall down on your knees I tselujte moi stupni kogda ya postavlyu podpis' And kiss the bottom of my feet when I bestow my signature Ya moguchij byurokrat! Ya moguchij byurokrat! Ya moguchij, ya da moguchij, ya zhe moguchij byurokrat! Ya moguchij, ya da moguchij, ya moguchij byurokrat!