Movement 10 of 'One Point Two Days in Corporate America -- an event-driven opera in 011 (base 2) acts' Think 'Dilbert meets Gilbert and Sullivan' :-) Scored for soli, chorus and string orchestra
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Story behind the song
Much of this based loosely on my years as a software engineer. The "cubicle police" (Scott Adams, Dilbert comic strip) are real. They are coming for you. They want to take away your coffeepot. And your dignity. They are formidable enemies. They have no sense of humor.
Lyrics
mv 10 Aria (tenor) with Chorus and Incidental Solos:
The aroma of a brew from a precision French press
Main Soloist:
The aroma of a brew from a precision French Press
Delights the senses, and stimulates the mind.
(Chorus: stimulates the mind!)
If you would work long hours, with neverending zest,
Then coffee is your medicine the gourmet, home-ground kind.
(Chorus: the gourmet, home-ground kind!)
Incidental Solo1: I like mine in a mug the size of Rhode Island
Chorus: Rhode Island?
Incidental Solo1: (nodding) Oftentimes.
Chorus: Then grab a cup of java, etc.
Main Soloist:
You can grind it into powder or leave it fairly coarse,
You can drink it straight, or drink it topped with luscious latte foam.
(Chorus: I love the foam!)
You can tamp it down and extract the precious oil
Or leave it light and airy for a midnight snack at home.
(Chorus: With biscotti, or a scone!)
Chorus: (spilling the beans )
Arabica, Robusta, Kona Java or Blue Mountain
Ghimbi, Indonesian, or Columbian or Kenyan
Tenor: I want to taste them
Chorus: Want to taste them
All: I want to taste them all!
Incidental Solo: Or simply eat the beans like candy,
Chorus: in a little chocolate coat
Soprano Solo: Or forget the fancy methods, just insert an IV line.
Chorus: Directly in the vein!
So let us raise a toast to this most excellent delight!
Tenor: In Praise of Coffee!
Chorus: Viva Java!
Tenor: Viva Java!
Chorus:Viva Java!
Tenor: Viva Java!
Chorus:Viva Java!
Tenor:
Whether fancy, pricey,
cheap and homey,
Delicate
or thick and foamy,
Chorus:
Light or dark or in-betweeny
Cold with ice or hot and steamy,
Whole bean, ground at home or instant..
Performance note
[a ‘very pregnant’ pause.(Think "morning sickness" pregnant).
Action grinds to a halt; all freeze and the music dries up ;-D
The conductor, startled, drops his/her baton;
the strings catch, grate, slide or choke their way out of the passage.
This should sound like an [unscored] spontaneous accident;
hence, I have not scored music.
The instrumentalists might possibly consider the biggest gaffe they have made playing
a passage, and then mimic that here. IE, they should call upon their creativity.]
All, cast, orchestra and conductor, are frozen in a tableau of surprise, shock, disgust, confusion. Soloist is frozen gesturing in the air. a moment passes, and while all others continue in en tableau, he comes to life and shakes his hands as if trying to get rid of some disgusting substance.]
Tenor: instant? who wrote this drivel?
Incidental Solo: (spoken): come on where are you hiding, you instant-guzzling traitor?
[The composer reluctantly emerges from the audience and slowly makes his/her way to the stage The cast un-freezes and starts to mutter to each other, sotto voce.]
Chorus: [in unison, with a Borg-like quality] we protest!
Composer: [embarrassed, clears throat nervously] um, well the word instant um, fit uh, you know, fit the rhythm I mean, you know it’s not easy getting all these words to scan and what about poetic license? C’mon, folks, give a poor composer a break will ya? You see.
Chorus: Spoken in unison: That just -- won’t -- do.
Composer: (spoken) Well, you see, it’s very difficult to
Chorus: Spoken: WON’T.. DO..
[Most lines are sung from this point on]
Composer: (Sung, recitative) But you all are characters in MY OPERA! My opera, do you understand? I created you!
Subtitle Drone holds up a sign that says Warning: Slippery Slope Ahead
Chorus: We have no creator but the one true god..
Composer: And who is this god? You can’t do this!
Chorus: You have dishonored our god.
Composer: No! I have dishonored no god, no god that I know of!
Chorus: Yes, his name is Java.. We will not pay tribute to an inferior god. Uttering the name of instant blasphemes!
Composer: (experiencing a sort of psychological vertigo) [pause] Well, then, if Java is so high and mighty,