rock
blues
americana
Lyrics
'I'm Old'
Ev'rythin's on the droop, n' I mean ev'rythin'
My neck is a wreck, my chins've got wings,
N' my arms've got armbands n' hoops!
Ev'rythin' slopes to the south,
I'm growin' a fringe round my mouth,
Sideburns n' whiskers,
N' bunyans n' blisters,
It's slippin' or else fallin' out.
Ev'rythin's takin' its toll,
N' I mean ev'rythin'
My knock knees are bandy,
Ain't what you call handy,
Got to admit it - I'm old.
Ev'rythin' takes twenty minutes,
Even brushin' my tooth,
What's left of my hair, ain't nothin' to spare,
N' there's stubble that's gone on the loose!
I got extra of ev'rything mingin'
'Cept the two things I need -
Like energy n' speed,
I guess you could say I ain't winnin'
When I take out the dog I move with the times,
From lamp post to mobility cart,
He don't like it much -
Hangin' on for dear life,
Especially when it don't start!
Ev'rythin's further away...
My eyes can't believe what I see,
There's a pot for my gums,
Big pants for my bums,
And a wrinkly thing seems to be ME!
Well surely I need compensation,
They didn't say nuthin' 'bout this,
No guidelines or leaflets,
No recommendations...
Surely someone can help me with this!
Don't I get some relief from the doctor?
Hell no, he just tops up the pills,
There must be some government director -
To reimburse age from the bills.
Ev'rythin's startin' to ache,
In crevices, bumps, n' bones in the toe,
There ain't nuthin' don't feel like a weight,
Sittin' up in the chair is like climbin' a stair,
Even my words come out late!
Somethin' has got to be done,
I've decided it's got to be banned,
We'll all hang together, us crocks on the move,
And make us an elderly stand,
Pick up the placards, n' say 'Ban the old'
March 'til our slippers are bare,
Tear out our hearin' aids -
Don't do what we're told -
Let 'em cross walkin' sticks if they dare!
Ev'rythin's startin' to wane,
Did I say somethin' 'bout a petition?
Hang on while I think.......................
It'll come back again.......................
My mind is just one long decision................
Now what day was Wednesday last week?
Did it fall on a Friday or what?
Did I tell you my sister was marryin' Pete?
Or was it divorcin' they got?
Ev'rythin's two of a kind,
Bi-focals for readin'
N' knee pads for weedin'
N' homehelp's to tell me the time!
What happened to my independence?
N' cuttin' my lawn like the rest?
Chewin' a toffee, or crackin' a nut -
Now my plate flies to the west!
There's wide shoes for shufflin'
Inhalers for puffin'
N' vests made a' wool for the cold,
If I could just find it, I'd sure like to wear it
Right up to my rubbery nose!
Ev'rythin's gone on the blink,
The TV, the stairlift, the world,
I'm thinkin' a causin' a stink,
But I don't think my voice would be heard...
I'll have to admit it, I'm old,
Older n' ev'ryone else,
If I knew this was comin'
I'd a just kept on runnin'
But how can you run from yourself?
Maria Daines
2006