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Once a liar always a liar?
Dec 25, 2007
Will a Liar Ever Change?
Being lied to by someone you love and felt you could trust is very painful and frustrating. You love your partner, so you find yourself forgiving his/her lies the first time, perhaps the second and third time as well, before you realize you are just involved with a liar. However, because you feel strongly for this person, it is not easy for you to break away, even though you know that is probably what is best for you. You hang on, with hope that things will change and he will not lie to you anymore. You justify staying with him by telling yourself that he is a good person and deep down you know he loves you- and that your relationship is wonderful and perfect- except when he lies.
What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship.
What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship.
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Changing the way you look at Yourself
Sep 17, 2007
Day by day, the majority of us have a painful war with ourselves. It is a constant fight that includes constant criticism, pressure, anger, sadness and endless cruel comparisons. It is an everyday struggle that gets in the way and keeps you from seeing yourself for who you really are and achieving your true purposes in life. Where did this war begin and why?
The answer to that question can be answered in a well-known and very often used word: Self-Esteem. What exactly does self-esteem mean? Self-Esteem is the way you look at and feel about yourself. The word "esteem" itself, means to value something or someone, thinking and believing that that something or someone is of great importance. If you are always fighting with yourself and feeding yourself thoughts that make you feel less valuable or not as important or attractive as other people, then you are suffering from Low Self-Esteem. Unfortunately, most people suffer from this, but the good news is, you can kick low self-esteem out of your life, inviting and living a high self-esteem instead.
Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.
Accomplishing high self-esteem will not happen in an instant. It requires hard work and constant reassurance. When working on achieving high self-esteem, know that it can never and will never be achieved as long as you keep negative ingredients involved, such as giving up. This is one of the biggest reasons you look at yourself in such a valueless manner. Yes, it will be hard to get rid of, especially because "giving up" is partnered with another negative ingredient named "laziness". The truth is, you do wish to change the way you look at and feel about yourself, but you have grown to become too lazy to do anything about it. Why? For the factual reason that you find it easier to stay in the place and position that you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. You may not have noticed, as most of the other low self-esteemed don't, that you now crave and need to feel sorry for yourself and subconsciously enjoy victimizing yourself and grabbing negative attention from others. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is difficult. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.
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