seriously my friends are jackasses. so i went off on lyss today bc shes been a shitty friend for awhile now. n i laid it out. then she tried to tell me that i was depressed n blah blah blah. NO. i have bad days im a teenage girl n i have my own problems to deal with. boo hoo. she doesnt tell me whats going on in her life so its not like i would kno. ive kept my things to myself bc right now i have something good going for me n i dont want to jinx it. shes impossible n it makes me mad. i talked to laney today n explained everything to her n she totally understands. lyss is just dumb n no longer my best friend. laura my mom n my cousin are lately.. oo ya n aaron geez oo geez

okay so aside from my mental break downs this week. im happy. im not that religious, i dont go to church is what i mean; but i do believe in god. so after my little shpeel the other night i prayed to god to send me a sign to find out if gino does still like me n if we are going to get back together. i asked for a big sign bc im slightly a umb blonde even though i have dark brown hair. and so the next day gino randomly offered me a ride home. i got excited and of course i took the offer. then when we got to my house he styed for a little, made fun of me but also gave me a back rub. keep in mind me n him dated for a while. and then we broke up bc he said that hes guna be leaving for college and doesnt want to set us up for an automatic heart break. but now who knows what he wants. so ive been keeping myself busy with soccer, working out and tanning. i figure i will do whatever it takes to be happy. my emotions should not be based on what a guy wants to do with me in his life.

i must have seasonal anxiety disorder. my mom has it n so does my dad. april is always my worst month out of the entire year. and then i manage to get back n be super happy during may bc im constantly outside. im only happy when im outside for at least 2 hours a day. but things are finally looking up for me. ive been working out n lost 6 lbs in 2-3 weeks. ive been eating healthier, im in a better mood, always smiling and no more stress now that my ap exam is over :) i guess were guna be moving soon. our landlord upped our rent n now we cant afford it. so were looking for houses rent-to-sell. my mom is determined to own a house by the end of the summer. she wants me to be proud of her or something but what really has me happy is that my dads girlfriends sons are finally treating me like im their sister. ive always wanted a big brother n now i have 1. its cool they do nice things for me, try to help me out when they think they can, and make fun of me n beat me up randomly. its cool its nice that school is almost out. yay summer 07